If you are not getting something that you "want", the reason why you're not getting it could be a strange truth: you don't actually want it.
It seems a bit difficult to understand, but recent observation reveals to me that in many situations, men stop "wanting" something when they realise that it is difficult to get. They may crib about it, but the truth is that they don't want it.
The simple solution, whenever you find yourself not getting what you want, is to clearly say to yourself, "I want (to) _______ ". Mean it.
Trust me: if you do this, more often than not, you get what you want. Or you may realise that you don't want that thing. In any case, you'll be at peace.
Showing posts with label Peace and Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peace and Happiness. Show all posts
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Religions, Philosophies and "What Should I Do?"
I began by wondering about the question of knowledge. Is it important to know ? Well, tentatively, yes. Well then, why know everything ? It's curiosity. If you don't know something, you generally feel like knowing it.
So then I came to think of The Enlightened, who is supposed to know everything. Wouldn't that be boring ? Because curiosity won't have a place in his mind. And the death of curiosity might not be harmless, so we should adopt the precautionary principle and not kill it.
And even if The Enlightened knows everything there is to know, one question persists : so, I know everything, what do I do now ?
And that was what gave me the break : The Enlightened One always knows what to do. If he knows that all the time, he need not know everything.
If you come to think of it, all religions and most philosophies attempt to answer this very question. What should we do ? With our lives, with ourselves, in times of need, in times of trouble, to solve an algebra equation, etc. In fact the quality of a doctrine can be judged upon how well it answers this question.
There is no correct answer. But if that answer conclusively satisfies the listener, that's good enough. The question no longer remains for that listener, and he has found his doctrine.
Now let's try to see the manner in which this question can be answered. Please note that according to me, the answers cannot be objectively evaluated:
1. Evading the question itself : It is possible to put a man in a life where the question does not arise. A busy life, I suppose. I'm sure that millions have lived without ever being haunted by the question of what to do. Either the answer was obvious and unquestioned (go to work, come home, sleep, etc) or the question never even occurred. And I'm sure they rest in peace.
2. Giving a proper answer : By this I mean answering the question in real terms. This is where I would place most religions. "Help others", "Say your prayers", etc. In fact some religions have detailed guidelines on what to do. Some Hindu texts give a detailed description of what each caste must do, right upto when they should have a bath, when they should get up in the morning, etc. The caste is pre-determined by birth. Or the Church answers the question of whether or not to abort definitively : no.
In these cases, the question is properly answered. The only problem is that we do not know if the answer satisfies the individual. And this is where it can get ugly. The answerer tries to prove that his answer is better than any other possible answer. Voila, the roots of religious strife and intolerance.
3. Giving an open ended answer: This answer is generally on these lines : go figure it out yourself. It doesn't seem like a good answer until I give you this hint : Use your imagination ! (I think it is implicit in this type of answer that there is no proper answer.)
The problem with many of us is that we take the third answer but we don't take the hint. So we sit and we read and we try to see what others have done, we partly agree and take bits and pieces from other philosophies, etc. We remain immersed in trying to 'find' the answers this way. In this case, if the first or second answers would have fit us, we would have gladly fallen for them. It's just sad that we're on our own.
So, if you fall in this category, let me repeat myself : use your imagination ! I will write about the imagination at a later time. I must confess that I find this answer the most amusing of them all. It's sad that I don't fit into the first category.
So then I came to think of The Enlightened, who is supposed to know everything. Wouldn't that be boring ? Because curiosity won't have a place in his mind. And the death of curiosity might not be harmless, so we should adopt the precautionary principle and not kill it.
And even if The Enlightened knows everything there is to know, one question persists : so, I know everything, what do I do now ?
And that was what gave me the break : The Enlightened One always knows what to do. If he knows that all the time, he need not know everything.
If you come to think of it, all religions and most philosophies attempt to answer this very question. What should we do ? With our lives, with ourselves, in times of need, in times of trouble, to solve an algebra equation, etc. In fact the quality of a doctrine can be judged upon how well it answers this question.
There is no correct answer. But if that answer conclusively satisfies the listener, that's good enough. The question no longer remains for that listener, and he has found his doctrine.
Now let's try to see the manner in which this question can be answered. Please note that according to me, the answers cannot be objectively evaluated:
1. Evading the question itself : It is possible to put a man in a life where the question does not arise. A busy life, I suppose. I'm sure that millions have lived without ever being haunted by the question of what to do. Either the answer was obvious and unquestioned (go to work, come home, sleep, etc) or the question never even occurred. And I'm sure they rest in peace.
2. Giving a proper answer : By this I mean answering the question in real terms. This is where I would place most religions. "Help others", "Say your prayers", etc. In fact some religions have detailed guidelines on what to do. Some Hindu texts give a detailed description of what each caste must do, right upto when they should have a bath, when they should get up in the morning, etc. The caste is pre-determined by birth. Or the Church answers the question of whether or not to abort definitively : no.
In these cases, the question is properly answered. The only problem is that we do not know if the answer satisfies the individual. And this is where it can get ugly. The answerer tries to prove that his answer is better than any other possible answer. Voila, the roots of religious strife and intolerance.
3. Giving an open ended answer: This answer is generally on these lines : go figure it out yourself. It doesn't seem like a good answer until I give you this hint : Use your imagination ! (I think it is implicit in this type of answer that there is no proper answer.)
The problem with many of us is that we take the third answer but we don't take the hint. So we sit and we read and we try to see what others have done, we partly agree and take bits and pieces from other philosophies, etc. We remain immersed in trying to 'find' the answers this way. In this case, if the first or second answers would have fit us, we would have gladly fallen for them. It's just sad that we're on our own.
So, if you fall in this category, let me repeat myself : use your imagination ! I will write about the imagination at a later time. I must confess that I find this answer the most amusing of them all. It's sad that I don't fit into the first category.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Dealing With Anxiety
Anxiety and worrying is caused by one simple, solvable mental state. It is caused by the desire to avoid a particular situation, whether inevitable or otherwise.
The solution is pretty simple: whether or not what you worry about is likely to happen, one simply HAS to totally accept the possibility of that particular situation occurring. Once you totally accept that what you are worried about might happen, it won't trouble you anymore and you can go on with the rest of your life peacefully.
Our problem is that we keep trying to somehow avoid the mess by doing a number of things that wouldn't change the probability in either case. Worrying is one of these things. If you accept the likelihood, you will end up freeing your mind to realistically evaluate and tackle the situation.
Trust me.
For a good starter on the concept of acceptance, see the relevant portions of Ekhart Tolle's "The Power of Now".
The solution is pretty simple: whether or not what you worry about is likely to happen, one simply HAS to totally accept the possibility of that particular situation occurring. Once you totally accept that what you are worried about might happen, it won't trouble you anymore and you can go on with the rest of your life peacefully.
Our problem is that we keep trying to somehow avoid the mess by doing a number of things that wouldn't change the probability in either case. Worrying is one of these things. If you accept the likelihood, you will end up freeing your mind to realistically evaluate and tackle the situation.
Trust me.
For a good starter on the concept of acceptance, see the relevant portions of Ekhart Tolle's "The Power of Now".
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Nature Does Not Count ; Numbers Don't Matter
I feel quite convinced that some of the biggest problems of the human race have their root in our ability to count.
Nature does not count in precise numbers. It only understands relative terms.
Some have suggested that the ability to count in humans has been misused, but I would just conclude by telling everyone to be less obsessed about numbers. It's one of the easiest ways to feel better connected with the wild.
Nature does not count in precise numbers. It only understands relative terms.
Some have suggested that the ability to count in humans has been misused, but I would just conclude by telling everyone to be less obsessed about numbers. It's one of the easiest ways to feel better connected with the wild.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
The Way of the Samurai
I sincerely recommend this book to all of you. I think that most of its observations are still perfectly valid and make a lot of sense. The book might seem a bit radical, but it is nonetheless correct. Many great ideas are radical anyway.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
A suggestion on the "Standard of Living" concept
I have already talked about the virtues of doing every little thing that you do extraordinarily well, from the viewpoint of being peaceful in life. (See my older post called "The Truth About Happiness")
What I would like to do now is talk about the idea of "Standard of Living" and what it has to do with the idea expressed above.
To begin with, by "Standard of Living", I mean the quality of the life that a person or a society lives. Which is simply to say that it means how happily a person or a society lives. Any other idea of the Standard of Living is rather useless to me because it does not tell me what I want to know.
Now, I strongly feel that the standard of living of a person or a society is seen in its most ordinary and unimportant actions. If those actions are done properly (or even better, extraordinarily well,) I would suggest that the standard of living of that person or society is very high.
This is because the very fact that unimportant and ordinary things are being done well suggests a commitment to quality. Only a commitment to quality and an active pursuit of it ensures real happiness in my opinion.
* This post relies on three important ideas;
1. Extraordinary teams and extraordinary persons do ordinary things extraordinarily well. - A line used by many people including Shiv Khera, Greg Chappell and Stephen Covey.
2. Swami Vivekananda, an Indian guru, once said that if you want to really see the merits of a yogi, do not see how he meditates, see how he makes his bed. ( This is closely related to '1' above)
3. The post is an extension of my ideas in "The Truth About Happiness.")
What I would like to do now is talk about the idea of "Standard of Living" and what it has to do with the idea expressed above.
To begin with, by "Standard of Living", I mean the quality of the life that a person or a society lives. Which is simply to say that it means how happily a person or a society lives. Any other idea of the Standard of Living is rather useless to me because it does not tell me what I want to know.
Now, I strongly feel that the standard of living of a person or a society is seen in its most ordinary and unimportant actions. If those actions are done properly (or even better, extraordinarily well,) I would suggest that the standard of living of that person or society is very high.
This is because the very fact that unimportant and ordinary things are being done well suggests a commitment to quality. Only a commitment to quality and an active pursuit of it ensures real happiness in my opinion.
* This post relies on three important ideas;
1. Extraordinary teams and extraordinary persons do ordinary things extraordinarily well. - A line used by many people including Shiv Khera, Greg Chappell and Stephen Covey.
2. Swami Vivekananda, an Indian guru, once said that if you want to really see the merits of a yogi, do not see how he meditates, see how he makes his bed. ( This is closely related to '1' above)
3. The post is an extension of my ideas in "The Truth About Happiness.")
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Killing the "Philosopher's Pain"
Even when you understand the value of discipline, it is still very difficult to implement all you know very well. This is the source of what I would like to call the "Philosopher's Pain", in that he knows what must be done but still cannot do it because he is weak. I can suggest two methods for this. One way is to throw yourself into the line of fire, where you have no option but to change. For example, joining the army. Now, there's no way out, and you have to discipline yourself. Another very good option never occurred to me until now...
Whenever you make a choice, ask yourself, "Did I choose this option so that it is easier and I don't have to move out of my zone of comfort?" If the answer is yes, and if you still have a choice, choose the harder option, where you will have to punish yourself. "Punish" is a term that I am using in a very different sense, of course. Even if you fail in the harder option, you have gained from within. You have become stronger, and that is all that matters.
Whenever you make a choice, ask yourself, "Did I choose this option so that it is easier and I don't have to move out of my zone of comfort?" If the answer is yes, and if you still have a choice, choose the harder option, where you will have to punish yourself. "Punish" is a term that I am using in a very different sense, of course. Even if you fail in the harder option, you have gained from within. You have become stronger, and that is all that matters.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Dealing with depression
There are times in our life when we really feel sick. There's nothing worth living for, and everything seems utterly boring and pointless. This is the best time for some introspection. It is also time to sit down and motivate yourself. As this is a low point, the only way you can go now is up! You are bound to rise to new heights, provided you don't lose hope. This is the start of the next big leap.
The bottom line is, believe in yourself. Believe in destiny. As I have earlier said, you cannot predict your own destiny, and so the only option is to live life as it comes. Take atleast some time alone. Sit on a deserted beach. The pieces will come together again, and you will be prepared to work once more.
The bottom line is, believe in yourself. Believe in destiny. As I have earlier said, you cannot predict your own destiny, and so the only option is to live life as it comes. Take atleast some time alone. Sit on a deserted beach. The pieces will come together again, and you will be prepared to work once more.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Understanding Pain
Seeing the wrecks around me, I feel compelled to expound my principles for the betterment of many people!
Pain is just another side of the coin which has pleasure on one side. The equation is very simple: The total amount of pain you experience is equal to the total amount of pleasure you experience and vice versa. Indulgence in pleasure causes pain, and indulgence in pain causes pleasure. However, living in this duality really wrecks us. It is very important to move away from this cycle to peace!!
Peace is a state where one feels neither pleasure nor pain. One possesses a single pointed mind. Now, what is a single pointed mind? We all hear voices in our heads. We are always talking to ourselves. When this stops, and only a single entity exists in our head, one can be said to possess a single pointed mind. This requires enormous self and mental control, which is again basically discipline. I have written about discipline and please see my earlier posts for information about that.
However, pleasure and pain is often an ambiguous concept. Therefore, I must give you another important technique. Always be free of any attachment to anything. Attachment is the root cause of pain and pleasure. Please refrain from being attached to anything at all, including yourself. Whenever, you are uneasy or in pain, the easiest method of relieving oneself is by finding the attachment that you have to something that is causing you pain. Let go of any attachment towards your body, your spouse, your kids, your work, etc, etc, etc. Egoism is nothing but attachment to one's image. You will see how clear your thinking and way of dealing with things becomes once you let go of attachment.
Desire is nothing but craving for something in anticipation of pleasure. Once you refrain from pleasure, desire will take care of itself.
In this discourse, I must tell you about the Bhagvad Gita. It is the holy book of the Hindus. It describes very beautifully the methods of disciplined and peaceful people. Please go through it if you want a more in-depth understanding of the concepts that I have expounded.
Pain is just another side of the coin which has pleasure on one side. The equation is very simple: The total amount of pain you experience is equal to the total amount of pleasure you experience and vice versa. Indulgence in pleasure causes pain, and indulgence in pain causes pleasure. However, living in this duality really wrecks us. It is very important to move away from this cycle to peace!!
Peace is a state where one feels neither pleasure nor pain. One possesses a single pointed mind. Now, what is a single pointed mind? We all hear voices in our heads. We are always talking to ourselves. When this stops, and only a single entity exists in our head, one can be said to possess a single pointed mind. This requires enormous self and mental control, which is again basically discipline. I have written about discipline and please see my earlier posts for information about that.
However, pleasure and pain is often an ambiguous concept. Therefore, I must give you another important technique. Always be free of any attachment to anything. Attachment is the root cause of pain and pleasure. Please refrain from being attached to anything at all, including yourself. Whenever, you are uneasy or in pain, the easiest method of relieving oneself is by finding the attachment that you have to something that is causing you pain. Let go of any attachment towards your body, your spouse, your kids, your work, etc, etc, etc. Egoism is nothing but attachment to one's image. You will see how clear your thinking and way of dealing with things becomes once you let go of attachment.
Desire is nothing but craving for something in anticipation of pleasure. Once you refrain from pleasure, desire will take care of itself.
In this discourse, I must tell you about the Bhagvad Gita. It is the holy book of the Hindus. It describes very beautifully the methods of disciplined and peaceful people. Please go through it if you want a more in-depth understanding of the concepts that I have expounded.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
General Discourse on Life 2
It does make great sense to do a regular overview of what you plan to do in life, how you plan to do it, and the principles that you are always going to follow. The first two things can be done once in a month or so, depending upon the time span of your tasks, but I strongly believe that the third one should be done daily.
A daily refresher of the mind is really useful. These include some meditation, and the remembrance and acceptance of some principles of life. In the day to day affairs of the mind, it is very easy to forget the principles that you believe in, thus leading to a misled, or worse, an uncontrolled mind. This is downright disaster. Meditation calms the mind, and also, if done properly, stops the mind from thinking for a while. This is very important! Control over the mind is what discipline is all about, and, as I have said earlier, discipline is what life is about!
One should preferably do this complete refreshment in the morning, and if possible, include a short session in the evening.
A daily refresher of the mind is really useful. These include some meditation, and the remembrance and acceptance of some principles of life. In the day to day affairs of the mind, it is very easy to forget the principles that you believe in, thus leading to a misled, or worse, an uncontrolled mind. This is downright disaster. Meditation calms the mind, and also, if done properly, stops the mind from thinking for a while. This is very important! Control over the mind is what discipline is all about, and, as I have said earlier, discipline is what life is about!
One should preferably do this complete refreshment in the morning, and if possible, include a short session in the evening.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
The truth about happiness
A good climbing session almost always makes for retrospection, inspiration, and realization!
There is never a time in life to celebrate or to enjoy oneself. Never, ever. Our life, if lived well and even enjoyably, must be spent in unwavering and high discipline. Only disciplined people can truly enjoy life. Enjoyment through drink or partying is very superficial enjoyment. Real enjoyment can only be obtained by the virtue of living itself. And to enjoy the virtue of living, one needs discipline.
To make things more simple, life can only be enjoyed by living in the moment, and always doing whatever you are doing for the sake of doing it, and not for the sake of something else.
I think I must give some examples.
When washing your clothes, you must wash them with no other purpose than with the purpose of ..... Washing your clothes! You must not do it so that your clothes may be clean, or because it has to be done, or for the sake of cleanliness, or for any other reason apart from washing you clothes!
What that means is, whatever you do, do it with complete commitment and do it for the sake of doing it nicely and beautifully. It is wrong to play football very well because you enjoy doing it, while you don't maintain your garden properly because you do not like doing it.
This means, all in all, that one must get rid of the concept of past and future, and exist forever, solely in the very immediate present. Believe me, that is the only way to live a life. And it requires extreme self control to not think about the past or near future, that is why I said that one needs extreme discipline.
Let me just give you a good statement... It almost encompasses all that I want to say...
Extraordinary people do the ordinary things extraordinarily well.
The kind of joy obtained by living in the present is incomparable with any other joy, and it is the true joy. Actually, it is not joy, but peace.
There is never a time in life to celebrate or to enjoy oneself. Never, ever. Our life, if lived well and even enjoyably, must be spent in unwavering and high discipline. Only disciplined people can truly enjoy life. Enjoyment through drink or partying is very superficial enjoyment. Real enjoyment can only be obtained by the virtue of living itself. And to enjoy the virtue of living, one needs discipline.
To make things more simple, life can only be enjoyed by living in the moment, and always doing whatever you are doing for the sake of doing it, and not for the sake of something else.
I think I must give some examples.
When washing your clothes, you must wash them with no other purpose than with the purpose of ..... Washing your clothes! You must not do it so that your clothes may be clean, or because it has to be done, or for the sake of cleanliness, or for any other reason apart from washing you clothes!
What that means is, whatever you do, do it with complete commitment and do it for the sake of doing it nicely and beautifully. It is wrong to play football very well because you enjoy doing it, while you don't maintain your garden properly because you do not like doing it.
This means, all in all, that one must get rid of the concept of past and future, and exist forever, solely in the very immediate present. Believe me, that is the only way to live a life. And it requires extreme self control to not think about the past or near future, that is why I said that one needs extreme discipline.
Let me just give you a good statement... It almost encompasses all that I want to say...
Extraordinary people do the ordinary things extraordinarily well.
The kind of joy obtained by living in the present is incomparable with any other joy, and it is the true joy. Actually, it is not joy, but peace.
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